Thursday, November 27, 2008

What is luck?

I've read this article yesterday while flying to Bulgaria. It was talking about luck and humanity's quest of trying to define luck. I didn't know that some scientists do nothing else other than measuring luck in a society. Turns out that the majority of people consider themselves unlucky, especially in Germany. Funny that. And apparently Eli Lilly has developed a drug which makes people happier - well, it's just an anti-depressant!

To cut a long story short, here's the formula for becoming a lucky person:

1. Nurture your friendships
2. Write a diary for "luck": every evening, list 5 positive things that happened during your day
3. Just do things (stop playing the victim)

So here are my five positive things of the week:
1. My dad is still alive
2. I'm able to visit my best friend in Bulgaria
3. I'm healthy enough to wander the streets of Sofia for hours
4. I can't stop eating
5. I played Sqash today and won every game

What are your happy "things" these days?

Monday, November 24, 2008

Return to Benztown

The journey has started - with negative news. I´ve arrived in Frankfurt around noon, it was freezing, raining and grey but I was all the smiley face, as if I´ve just arrived somewhere in the Caribbean, ready to jump on a boat to some coconut island. I had some time to kill because my ride to Berlin wouldn´t leave until 5pm so I kept myself busy eating lots of German things and staring at the Germans at the train station. And then I thought, why don´t you do something useful and get yourself a German mobile number to call your parents. So I called home and this was when I stopped smiling. Turns out that dad had a heart attack and got admitted to hospital. No, not today. Almost a week ago! A tearful half hour later I was sitting in the train to Stuttgart - Benztown here I come - and at 6.30pm I was holding dad´s hand at the hospital bed.

These things happen. All the time and everywhere. Still, it hits you like a rocket. One minute you are immersed into your selfish happiness and the next you get a wake up call. It hasn´t occured to me that my dad is in a risky age - he´s 70 now. I´ve always been too absorbed with my own life, taking for granted that my parents are always there, waiting for me to come home once a year, dinner ready on the table. Now I´m sitting next to my dad´s bed in the hospital - this is day No. 5 - and feel bad about having left him (and my mom) to go and live somewhere else. I should have stayed. Should have, could have, would have. Who knows what the right decision would have been. Fact is, it´s difficult seeing your dad strapped to a hospital bed, surrounded by morbidity, bad food and loneliness. He is feeling better every day - still, I feel guilty for having left him years ago. He kept telling me "what´s the point of having children when they´re never around, especially when you are about to die". I guess he´s right so I´ve decided that things will change ... how I don´t know yet. But I know for sure that I want to be a part of his life again. Parents are too precious to grant them 2 weeks a year only. You won´t have them around forever.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

So this is it ...

This was Dubai. 3 years. Actually, 3 years and 16 days. In the beginning, I couldn't wait to absorb this city, to settle down, to meet new people and enjoy the sun. There was no time for thinking or reflecting. Who needs to think if you have all you can eat & drink every second day on every corner, if you have beach, sun and happy people. And then there was Mark (there still is), getting engaged, getting married. The best thing that ever happened to me.

So why am I leaving now? Well, I guess life and work caught up with me ... faster than I thought. Sunday till Thursday ... 8am till open end ... You see, it's not that I don't like working. I love working and luckily I landed at a place that treated me like a family and not like an employee. It's just that I love life so much more. So here I am ... stuffing my tons of clothes into boxes, saying goodbye to some crazy and amazing people that I will miss a lot to go and discover some other brave new worlds.

Next stop Berlin. It's not new. But very brave ...

Sunday, November 9, 2008

I did it

I've created my own blog. Jamie will be so proud of me.
Now I just need to use it.